Everything You Want Is on the Other Side of Fear

Who will you become when you stop letting fear decide?

23rd January, 2025.

(P.S : This letter was written in December 2025 by a participant in our With Love, Anonymous pen-pal project, addressed to their pen pal. We’re sharing it here with permission. January’s theme was The Restart.)

Hello Stranger,

I’m not afraid to admit that I have let fear make a lot of the decisions for me. I’ve spent my life doing what I was expected to do instead of what I really wanted, because I don’t know what to do with myself when the people I love aren’t happy with me. This is why this month’s theme, The Restart, felt perfect for me. A fresh chance to be different.

I love writing to you, dear pen pal, because I can be whoever I want to be on these pages. I can be brave. I can be eccentric. I can be daring. The pen will only write what I tell it to. But I’ve chosen to be honest.

Writing to you is my way of holding myself accountable this year. 2026 is going to be my year of change. I’ve been in therapy for a few months now, and one of the first things my therapist told me was this: “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” For some reason, that statement terrified me even more. So if I never stop being afraid, I might never get anything I want? And what’s even more terrifying is staying in this loop where I only imagine the kind of life I want and never get to experience it.

“Don’t let the weight of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”

— Dead Poets Society

I tend to dream little as I’ve been told, because I’ve always thought dreams should be realistic. But then, isn’t that why they’re dreams? Because they’re meant to be bigger than you. I’ve always wanted stability and nothing more. A job that I didn’t hate, a few friends who didn’t hate me, maybe getting married and having a kid or two. I was always afraid of reaching for anything more than the bare minimum. After all, that way I wouldn’t be too disappointed by the outcome.

Until I made a friend earlier this year.

They say some people come into your life to change you, and I’m forever changed by her.

My friend is very ambitious. She dreams big, and her light is bright. She’s just in uni like me, doing just okay financially like me, struggling to meet deadlines while working like me. But the way she spoke about her future as though it was the greatest thing since sliced bread made me believe her. I believe she will be this great person she sees herself becoming. I believe she will find happiness and success and that all her dreams will come true.

It took me a little while to ask myself the inevitable question: if I believe all these great things will happen to her, why don’t I believe they’ll happen to me?

The answer is simple. Because she told me they’ll happen to her.

Simple as that.

She only sees a world where good things will happen to her, and I see a world where, if I’m lucky, I’ll find some moments of relief in life where I’m not suffering. The only difference was our perception.

Everything I want is on the other side of my fear.

I’ve chosen to do better this year. 2026 is my restart. So here are a few dreams I want you to hold for me, dearest pen pal.

This year, I’m going to take a solo trip.

This year, I’m going to apply for something I’m grossly underqualified for.

This year, I’m going to put myself out there and make new friends.

This year, I’m going to go on many solo dates.

This year, I’m going to stop letting fear make decisions for me.

I don’t expect it to be easy. I’m even a little scared to send this, because putting anything out into the world makes it much more real. But I need to do this for myself.

So, dearest pen pal, if you’re anything like me, let this year be the year we start thinking the best of ourselves and the world. Let this year be the year that goodness surrounds us, not because we are entitled to it, but because we believe it will.

Everything we want is on the other side of fear. And I hope we can cross that bridge.

With love,

Anonymous

This letter was written as part of our global digital pen-pal exchange —

“With Love, Anonymous.”

Each month, hundreds of readers around the world write and receive letters on life, love, and becoming.

February’s theme is on first and final loves

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